The Commute Boundary
When / where:The drive or walk home
A transition ritual that closes the workday so it doesn’t follow you home.
How to practice
- 1
Choose a marker (a song, a landmark, a breath at the car door).
- 2
At that marker, consciously set the day down.
- 3
Close the day with compassionate intention. Offer a phrase or two of compassion directed toward:
- Someone you love unconditionally
- Yourself
- Your colleagues
- Those you find difficult
Explore the guided meditation practice- May you be well.
- May you be happy.
- May you be healthy.
- May you be free from suffering and its causes.
- 4
Arrive home as yourself, not your role.
Compassion for difficult people
While it may be hard to express compassion for those who have been difficult toward you, try this reframe: they are suffering too. Imagine what it must be like to be them — holding so much anger, expending so much energy to be difficult. As humans, we all want to be happy, and some are simply not very skilled at attaining it. That is their suffering. By practicing compassion toward them, you are discharging the negative emotions they transfer to you. Try it and see what happens.
The evidence
Psychological boundaries and recovery protect against exhaustion and effort–reward strain (recovery research, Sonnentag).